so anyway, i realised this really weird fact about me recently.
i feel very stressed depressed (and not well dressed) whenever i like someone because uncertainty just fills my mind. first of all, i can not deal with rejection so whenever i feel like or know that i'm getting too emotionally attached/inclined with someone i'll start to feel extremely down because im scared (or i know) that they won't or don't reciprocate the same feelings. and recently i've been feeling a lot of this shit because im starting to like this person..... but im not sure if i should stop everything because i know s/he doesn't like me back. ugh so childish i know but it's like taking a leap of faith which i can't bring myself to do. unless he really likes me and i can tell then i'll probably free fall into his arms but i know for sure that nothing will happen. even though a part of me hopes that i'm wrong.
so sad really.
why can't i just be courageous and do something. haha, but i know i'm not the kind to confess, much less take the first step.
love is such a weird and interesting thing. why do we even have emotions though?? it wrecks and destroys us yet it makes us feel like we're on a never ending high.
i really really really like you.
but i just don't dare to do anything.
am i suppose to let feelings fade?
so freaking scared idw to end up hurt again.
-a
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