ramblings at 1215

im exhausted.
ive flooded my schedule with work almost everyday... so much that within the next two weeks, i only opted for 2 days without work ha ha
so don't ask me out cos im busy (which is an excuse for me not wanting to socialize with anyone or everyone)
its mummy's birthday today (as of 12mn) so i'll probably do up a post at night to cover her birthday and stuff like that.
i really wanted to watch suits when i got home but i have work at 11am tomorrow so im not quite in the mood for any snuggling and watching show kinda thing. meh.
im such a mundane person, how can anyone stand me hahaha
late night ramblings, oh how interesting.
gd night everyone, get a good night's sleep and don't let your thoughts ruin your mind.
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1227am
i think its hard to constantly remind ourselves that it's who or what we love that make us who we are rather than who loves us.
but then again, its always the question of, is it because of the similarity of our personality with who loves us that makes us who we are? ok put it this way. what if our personality attract people with similar personality? then does the "theory" or what we are is who loves us? or is that the same as loving ourselves? then what about opposites attract? do they really still attract? i believe more in like minded attractiveness rather than opposites cos thats for sure that i can never be with someone that do not like or have tattoos haha. sort of a mind f-ing question huh.. but anyway my main point is, it's hard to tell myself that who i am is what i have achieved and what i love or who i love rather than who loves me (no one) or what loves me (ha ha nothing) bc im constantly surrounded by people who are so... loved? hahah (yes this might just be jealousy speaking) im not sure why people always say my love life is complicated but hey man it's as empty as a black hole and im not willing to love someone just yet so........
who am i exactly and why do i exist?
(and to add on to the truckload of questions i ask myself or you, whoever you are, WHY AM I SO FUCKING FAT)
i really got to do something about my physical appearance.
it's disgusting.

ok now goodnight for real