hm?

trust me when i say you don't know the first thing abt me
the people im close to, don't even know me
its sad that i feel that i cant open up to them
or show my true self to them or anyone.
i don't think anyone would understand me
because i dont even understand me and the bad thoughts that constantly cross my mind
i hate myself because i dont see how anyone can love me
i think im alive for the people around me and my love for them
im not alive because my life rox. im not living
im just surviving
why do i hate myself? hm i think the question is
why don't i hate myself?
i wish some people would notice the smaller details in the bigger picture
then maybe they would see what's so wrong about something/someone that was "so right"
do you get me?
i wish people would just stop and understand each other instead of constantly judging
i wish some people would stay by my side and see whats wrong
but no
no one sees whats wrong
but it's okay
because even if they saw it like how i see it,
they wouldn't help either
because im hopeless
all i can make sense right now is that i miss you
and you,you,you,you and you.
i wish you understood me
i wish i was more cheerful and tolerable but im not.
or im not, anymore.
is it sad?
hm?

-
this isn't a poem
it's just sentences broken down so that it wont be a big chunk of words that you are dreading to read
about my insecurities
these are just thoughts that are constantly in my mind
wow i think i can just go on and on.
please bear with me hahaha i have a feeling more of these posts will be up soon
im sorry