oh btw, this might be a very wordy post
So, when my dad offered me a job stating that I'll be earning over a thousand, I jumped at it. Obviously right? Who wouldn't. When I agreed, 10001 things came to my mind. The things I could buy, the brands I could afford, the amount of clothes I could buy, a shopping spree at topshop etc. One of those included a very very very pretty mbmj (marc by marc jacobs) bag that I very much wanted. It's 400 and I discovered it about two weeks into my new job and my mind was SET on buying it... also a michael kors watch which I so ignorantly asked from my mum for my birthday (it's 500)
But today, I told my mum not to get me that watch and I've also convinced myself I don't need a 400 bag.
After working full time, I've discovered the importance of money and how difficult it is to be earned.... I've also decided not to online shop and I've set aside some money for saving. Money isn't going to come easy and more often than not, I take it for granted. I finally understand what my parents want me to learn through working. Is this me maturing? or just being more knowledgable? I don't know but I don't think I've ever felt more thankful for having allowance every month even though it's not much (actually it is. I'm just so superficial and I have a lot of "needs" to attend to) I think working (even though it has been a short period of time) has made me more matured without me even noticing it... Yes I am still going to shop like crazy cos after all i am a girl haha but I'm going to spend it wisely blah blah blah you get my point. It's quite crazy you know? When I see myself making such decisions... when I realised that I shouldn't be getting the bag I got really really upset which is silly of me cos it only shows how materialistic I am. And as I'm typing out this post, I'm actually quite proud that I manage to make that decision instead of being the totally bratty little girl that i used to be (ya my parents/grandparents/aunty always got me what i wanted ever since I was born :\)
Next decision I've made is about.... FO..
I've decided that I will.... not go for FO (freshmen orientation)
this may be a shocker cos I've always had my mind set on FO. Ever since I started poly, it was just FO FO FO FO FO FO FO I MUST BE A GL I MUST GET INTO FO FO FO FO FO FO FO FO
you get the jist
but today... after much consideration over the past few weeks, I've made up my mind to not go for it. Yes I know, it's a waste, I'm year 1 and i'm not going to enjoy myself in FO. if i don't go this year i won't be able to go anymore.
but here are my reasons:
1. studies
my parents expect me to get a GPA of 3.5 and above because after poly i will probably be going to an overseas U. my sem 1.1 gpa totally SUCKED according to my parents' standard but was mehhh okay in my standard (do you see the problem??? im too much of a slacker that i know what "realistic expectations" to expect from myself-__-) and so I have to aim for a really really REALLY good GPA next sem or else I'm quite doomed haha. I've never disappointed my parents ever since I was sec 4 when I juggled private gymnastics and studying at the same time (i rmb going for training the day before my prelims and mugging till 1/2am cos I only reached home at 10) but now.. i can sense their disappointment..... it breaks my heart to see how disappointed my parents are because i let my studies slide down my priority list. I don't want to let my parents down any further so I really need to buck up.
2. work
my dad has 2 kids and is the sole breadwinner of his family. my mum has 2 kids and she's struggling very hard as well. (They split when I was 1.) I'm old enough to work and study at the same time and I don't see why I can't help them.. so i've decided to work and see how I can cope with it so that I can help my mom and dad with some financial matters. Yes I'm 17 and maybe I can't help much but I think I can start by earning some money so that my parents can cut down on my allowance. No promises though, because I haven't found a part time job or anything but I'm intending to.
I know it's only 2 (very mainstream) reasons but I want to perform to my best standards. I'm the type of person that if I'm going to do something, I MUST DO IT TO MY BEST or not do it at all... I think sem 2 is going to be quite tough for me cos the modules I'm about to take aren't as easy as sem 1 and I already did quite badly for sem 1 which makes me doubt myself and my capabilities to attaining an up-to-standard CGPA.
So I guess from this I can see how the holidays have changed me..... during the 1 month while I was working I really did a lot of thinking.. many of which revolved around my future and studies. All the decisions and choices I make today will shape me into the person I'll be in future. Hopefully, these decisions will shape me to be a better person that has a brighter future (than my computer screen) and I can provide for my parents when it's my turn. I hope those of you that read this will understand what I'm going through/what I'm thinking and not convince me otherwise.
I do know I'm going to regret not going for Freshmen Orientation and year 1 should be when I have fun and be carefree. But it's just me to take things seriously because.. that's just who I am and I know it's a huge flaw. If only i've worked harder in 1.1 and not play around so much, I would allow myself to go for FO. This decision was probably the hardest I've had to make so far this year... and it's sad that I've decided not to go but I have much more at stake if I go than if I don't.
to those who actually READ the WHOLE THING, wow I'm impressed.
hahahaha
alright, goodnight
I just felt like I needed to blog this because it has been bugging me the entire night already and I should sleep because I have work tomorrow sigh, OL(office lady) Anna
I know it's only 2 (very mainstream) reasons but I want to perform to my best standards. I'm the type of person that if I'm going to do something, I MUST DO IT TO MY BEST or not do it at all... I think sem 2 is going to be quite tough for me cos the modules I'm about to take aren't as easy as sem 1 and I already did quite badly for sem 1 which makes me doubt myself and my capabilities to attaining an up-to-standard CGPA.
So I guess from this I can see how the holidays have changed me..... during the 1 month while I was working I really did a lot of thinking.. many of which revolved around my future and studies. All the decisions and choices I make today will shape me into the person I'll be in future. Hopefully, these decisions will shape me to be a better person that has a brighter future (than my computer screen) and I can provide for my parents when it's my turn. I hope those of you that read this will understand what I'm going through/what I'm thinking and not convince me otherwise.
I do know I'm going to regret not going for Freshmen Orientation and year 1 should be when I have fun and be carefree. But it's just me to take things seriously because.. that's just who I am and I know it's a huge flaw. If only i've worked harder in 1.1 and not play around so much, I would allow myself to go for FO. This decision was probably the hardest I've had to make so far this year... and it's sad that I've decided not to go but I have much more at stake if I go than if I don't.
to those who actually READ the WHOLE THING, wow I'm impressed.
hahahaha
alright, goodnight
I just felt like I needed to blog this because it has been bugging me the entire night already and I should sleep because I have work tomorrow sigh, OL(office lady) Anna
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