sheng ri // birthday

hi blogger-people/people who read my blog about my extremely boring life.
yesterday was my birthday but i wasnt really feeling the hype.... meh.
but still, thank you to everyone who wished me! (-:
my birthday kinda started on wednesday (9/10) cos i had family dinner and my family bought crabs! but sadly i didnt have appetite and i can't eat seafood yet so yeah ): meh. Then out came a birthday cake!!!!!!! :O :O actually i didn't know my family would celebrate my birthday cos i told them not to. Since my sister's birthday was next week, I thought it would be better to celebrate together on my sister's birthday instead. but i guess im a princess so...?????? HAHAH im kidding (-:

zhu wo sheng ri kuai le

after cutting the cake and all, my mum suddenly gave me a birthday present. in a box. I was really shocked cos i already knew that it would be a watch. Well, remember i said i told her not to get me the watch? I kinda knew it was coming because MY STUBBORN MOTHER NEVER LISTENS TO ME. Anyway, when i opened the box and saw that its michael kors rose gold... wow my heart stopped and all i could say was "OMG OMG OMG OMG" cos i was just so touched and i was gonna cry alr i swear hahaha. this watch is def not cheap which is why i didn't want my mum to buy it. So yeah, then went home and showered. 

and before i slept i laid in my mum's bed hugging her. kissed her on her head then went to sleep. 

:fast forward: 

so yesterday nat brought me to this place at upp bukit timah (near clementi) called the escape artist. It's really interesting. For people who like puzzles and are into sherlock holmes-type-thing (me)
hehehe,
so basically, we were locked in a room and given a scenario. For example, ours was that we had to find out the mastermind and 4 robbers of a heist. There were clues all over the room and we had 4 boxes that were locked that we had to find the code and unlock it. In one of the 4 boxes, there was a key! to unlock the door of course.
I would totally take pics for you guys but no phones allowed so yeah~

we were pretty famished when we were done with the game thing so we headed out for lunch after!! Went to have lunch at carpenter and cook 's yum yum

what we ordered : 2 savory/main dishes (bacon and mushroom brioche and egg,cheese and onion-ithink-  quiche) followed by 3 desserts and 1 scone. 

desserts were - blueberry cheesecake, tiramisu and apple cobber cake.

and the scone was bacon and something i can't really remember.

their mains were good. like really good. Just that maybe the brioche's base was a little too thick. I like their salad on the side cos I love salads especially rockets.

Their deserts was mediocre for me, maybe because nat and I expected a lot more from their desserts after having such good "mains".

 Their blueberry cheesecake was good, but I would prefer it with a crispier crust.. the crust was a little... soggy. 

I really liked their tiramisu though, Their cream wasn't too sweet that it over powered the layer of coffee sponge cake. The coffee taste wasn't that strong either and overall the dessert wasn't very heavy! 

I finished the entire cup by myself cos nat didn't quite like tiramisu and the coffee taste. 

The apple cobbler cake was alright... I liked the apple and cinnamon taste in it but the cake was just too.... heavy. or maybe I was just too full???

And I didn't like the scone cos it was wayyy too salty for me.

So after carpenter and cook, we went to suntec to walk around their newly renovated convention center. Went to H&M, Sephora and smoothie King!!!!

Oh and guess what, sephora finally carries NYX!!!!!!! yay!!!!! bought 2 lip products from nyx and IM LOVING IT especially the matte liquid lip thingy in Antwerp. I'll make sure to take pics of it in my next post (or the following one cos I think the next one is gonna be on my week ) 

bought the following coordinates from H&M hehe ^ 

good lighting in smoothie king so yeah

thank you bb nat for celebrating my birthday with me :* :* infinite kisses for you. Really enjoyed my day, especially with you. 

ok bye guys! see you in the next post~

sweater weather

hii
i can't believer that im turning 17 in about.. a day's time? and it honestly feels like...... it's just gonna be an ordinary day or smtg. I havent been talking to anyone either so im not rly looking forward to any special wishes like from someone you have feelings for etc... which also means no disappointment ;) haha. Oh well, i feel like no one's gonna rmb anyway... hmm im still gonna be the 16 year old me when i turn 17 so there really isnt much of a difference other than the fact that i've survived another year living this torturous life so yay. The only thing im looking forward to is spending my day with natty.... yeahhh......
im so boring haha
whatever
bye
im pathetic
meh

Just hold on, we're going home.

HELLOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
how has the first 5 days of october treated you? hohohoho (-:
i'm typing out a post before i get ready to go shopping and i won't be free for the coming week cos i'll be so busy. and also my 17th birthday is coming up woohoo, can't wait till i'm 18 though!!!!!

so here are some spams of my face HAHA sorry
Basically, I was working this week except on thursday where i went to get something done hahaha (you would know if you follow me on instagram @annaxtammie (-; )

In da house yo 

my fruits are so tiny like seriously...........

this is basically what i do at work. nothing but draw -.- 

HOMEMADE CHICKEN RICE WOOHOO yum yum in my tum tum

painted my nails myself (so proud of myself woohoo) 

went out to meet markie!! Did some light shopping as well 

bored on friday

had dinner (yes diner, not breakfast) with parents & my boss

some tattoos that I'm considering to get either on my 18th birthday or earlier jahaha. 

but i think the second one is really freaking nice *___* i love it so much i wish that was my arm 

ok bye!! I'll update you guys soooonnnnn

gon' be busy this week! 

Decisions decisions

I've been thinking a lot tonight which has led me to making some very difficult decisions

oh btw, this might be a very wordy post

So, when my dad offered me a job stating that I'll be earning over a thousand, I jumped at it. Obviously right? Who wouldn't. When I agreed, 10001 things came to my mind. The things I could buy, the brands I could afford, the amount of clothes I could buy, a shopping spree at topshop etc. One of those included a very very very pretty mbmj (marc by marc jacobs) bag that I very much wanted. It's 400 and I discovered it about two weeks into my new job and my mind was SET on buying it... also a michael kors watch which I so ignorantly asked from my mum for my birthday (it's 500) 

But today, I told my mum not to get me that watch and I've also convinced myself I don't need a 400 bag. 

After working full time, I've discovered the importance of money and how difficult it is to be earned.... I've also decided not to online shop and I've set aside some money for saving. Money isn't going to come easy and more often than not, I take it for granted. I finally understand what my parents want me to learn through working. Is this me maturing? or just being more knowledgable? I don't know but I don't think I've ever felt more thankful for having allowance every month even though it's not much (actually it is. I'm just so superficial and I have a lot of "needs" to attend to) I think working (even though it has been a short period of time) has made me more matured without me even noticing it... Yes I am still going to shop like crazy cos after all i am a girl haha but I'm going to spend it wisely blah blah blah you get my point. It's quite crazy you know? When I see myself making such decisions... when I realised that I shouldn't be getting the bag I got really really upset which is silly of me cos it only shows how materialistic I am. And as I'm typing out this post, I'm actually quite proud that I manage to make that decision instead of being the totally bratty little girl that i used to be (ya my parents/grandparents/aunty always got me what i wanted ever since I was born :\) 

Next decision I've made is about.... FO..

I've decided that I will.... not go for FO (freshmen orientation) 

this may be a shocker cos I've always had my mind set on FO. Ever since I started poly, it was just FO FO FO FO FO FO FO I MUST BE A GL I MUST GET INTO FO FO FO FO FO FO FO FO 

you get the jist

but today... after much consideration over the past few weeks, I've made up my mind to not go for it. Yes I know, it's a waste, I'm year 1 and i'm not going to enjoy myself in FO. if i don't go this year i won't be able to go anymore.

but here are my reasons:

1. studies

my parents expect me to get a GPA of 3.5 and above because after poly i will probably be going to an overseas U. my sem 1.1 gpa totally SUCKED according to my parents' standard but was mehhh okay in my standard (do you see the problem??? im too much of a slacker that i know what "realistic expectations" to expect from myself-__-) and so I have to aim for a really really REALLY good GPA next sem or else I'm quite doomed haha. I've never disappointed my parents ever since I was sec 4 when I juggled private gymnastics and studying at the same time (i rmb going for training the day before my prelims and mugging till 1/2am cos I only reached home at 10) but now.. i can sense their disappointment..... it breaks my heart to see how disappointed my parents are because i let my studies slide down my priority list. I don't want to let my parents down any further so I really need to buck up.

2. work

my dad has 2 kids and is the sole breadwinner of his family. my mum has 2 kids and she's struggling very hard as well. (They split when I was 1.) I'm old enough to work and study at the same time and I don't see why I can't help them.. so i've decided to work and see how I can cope with it so that I can help my mom and dad with some financial matters. Yes I'm 17 and maybe I can't help much but I think I can start by earning some money so that my parents can cut down on my allowance. No promises though, because I haven't found a part time job or anything but I'm intending to.

I know it's only 2 (very mainstream) reasons but I want to perform to my best standards. I'm the type of person that if I'm going to do something, I MUST DO IT TO MY BEST or not do it at all... I think sem 2 is going to be quite tough for me cos the modules I'm about to take aren't as easy as sem 1 and I already did quite badly for sem 1 which makes me doubt myself and my capabilities to attaining an up-to-standard CGPA.

So I guess from this I can see how the holidays have changed me..... during the 1 month while I was working I really did a lot of thinking.. many of which revolved around my future and studies. All the decisions and choices I make today will shape me into the person I'll be in future. Hopefully, these decisions will shape me to be a better person that has a brighter future (than my computer screen) and I can provide for my parents when it's my turn. I hope those of you that read this will understand what I'm going through/what I'm thinking and not convince me otherwise.
I do know I'm going to regret not going for Freshmen Orientation and year 1 should be when I have fun and be carefree. But it's just me to take things seriously because.. that's just who I am and I know it's a huge flaw. If only i've worked harder in 1.1 and not play around so much, I would allow myself to go for FO. This decision was probably the hardest I've had to make so far this year... and it's sad that I've decided not to go but I have much more at stake if I go than if I don't.

to those who actually READ the WHOLE THING, wow I'm impressed.
hahahaha
alright, goodnight
I just felt like I needed to blog this because it has been bugging me the entire night already and I should sleep because I have work tomorrow sigh, OL(office lady) Anna

just a note to everyone 

hello everyone
how're you feeling? This is the last week of september yaaay :-)
sucky september is coming to an end, osum october is about to start!!!
I'm so tired... like so so so so so tired i can just sleep my day away
i've been eating so much this week, i feel like slapping myself -___-
I have no idea what to say cos my life is just so boring and i don't really have anything to update you guys on. :-/
I dont really wanna talk about my feelings either because i don't think anyone is interested in it.
wow i'm just so complicated hahaha ok goodbye!
till later x

feelings thoughts everything

nowadays i can't help but to be sad... or just feel negative in every way possible.
It's so bad cos I don't even remember what its like being happy anymore. I've been feeling negative for about 2 weeks straight (or longer). And I'm so thankful for mark n nat for always sending me long texts and talking to me even though 90% of the time i'm just telling them how much my life sucks.
I have concluded that i'm feeling this way because of the way i look.
i detest myself. i can't help but hate every single thing about me. I don't understand how people look at me and say/think "oh she's ok" i'm honestly not ok. I'm had wide hips, BUT i dont have a thigh gap..? ok i do but at the top my thighs touch and it annoys me so much ):
here's the thing, I used to be super skinny in lower sec but because i was so skinny, i took it for granted... this is what i normally snack on at night

like in 1 night..  yeah.. it's bad i know.

i should be grateful i'm still on the leaner side of the scale but it still bugs me you know? people keeps telling me i put on weight and i'm trying so fking hard to lose it but i can't. my thighs have no my fats i think.. but its freakishly muscular because of training for 1 year and all the working out i do.. so i can't get a proper thigh gap anymore... do you get my pain aha...... i'm just hoping some miracle happens idk. I can't feel good about myself cos all i see are flaws and argh i just wanna cry aha. 

I have a feeling so many people are gonna judge me based on this post. "what the fuck is she talking about lol" "stupid fat bitch" "just go on a diet la" "cb talk so much" )-: i wish all these thoughts will just shut up. once i think about my body i think about how so many people have left me alr... and how many people i miss but my stupid pride won't allow me to text them and say "i miss u" so instead, i just lay in bed at night, wishing that a part of them misses me too... (but i know that will never happen) so my advice to all of you is to cherish those that are making an effort to be in your life (cliche, i know) don't push them away... always be thankful that they're a part of your life. don't be like me haha i end up fucking everything up with my stupid emotions and insecurity and pushing everyone away. the quote (or simply just 2 words) "everyone leaves" is utter bullshit. EVERYONE doesn't leave. it's either that you push them away, or they're just not meant to be in your life. but the word EVERYONE is such an overstatement.... people come and go, but there will always be a handful of people that will always be in your life, like an anchor, holding onto you, never letting you drift away.

Gosh, am i talking bullshit? I think i am. my thoughts are all over the place.

I hope no one hates themselves as much as i hate myself. it feels horrible hating myself but loving myself feels like a sin. why would i love fats when i don't even eat them lol. 

sometimes i feel like i need someone to give me a tight hug and tell me

 "everything will be okay in time to come." just hold me and never let me go )-: 

so once again,

"how do we get out of this labyrinth of suffering?" - looking for alaska

this is a very messy post

hi guys. :-) 

how have you been? (I hope people actually read this or I'm better off talking to a wall)

so lately i've been (I'VE BEEN LOSING SLEEP - one of my fav songs right now hehe ) anyway as I was saying before a voice in my head started singing counting stars...........

god why am i so weird.. (´･_･`)

as I was saying (x2) HAHAHA, lately I've been LOSING SLEEP AND WORKING for my hard earned money sigh can't wait till work is over......

it has been 3 weeks since I started work and there are just 2 more weeks to go before I put an end to hell on earth (for me) hehehehehehe

I'M SO EXCITED TO PUT AN END TO SUCKY SEPTEMBER AND START O-SUM (awesome) OCTOBER! woohooo ヽ(°◇° )ノ 

Soooo many things planned out for october. which I would love to tell everyone around me (including you guys *cricket sounds*) but I'm a jinx kind of person, get what I mean? 

When I get really excited about something and I tell people about it, it normally ends up getting... ruined or something. Which is annoying. So I don't really tell things to people until AFTER it's over. hahahahahah

So on to visuals!

i'll only talk about significant events.. so yeah that's basically like.. 1..... i'm pathetic i know. BUT WAIT FOR OCTOBER GUYS HEHE

during training one day.. the boys wore bumble bee themed socks. SUPER CUTE!!!!! and yes he was getting into a pail HAHA so cute

right after training, I went to meet mark for dinner @ ikea. Took a train from clementi to ikea..

OK LET ME TELL YOU GUYS THE UNFORTUNATE EVENTS OF THAT DAY OKAY.

i was damn suay. couldn't get more suay.

So after training, I went to the toilet to wash up and what not. I took pretty long, and I didn't know that the school would close at EXACTLY 5pm. I got out of the toilet at 5:30 and was walking down the stairs when I realised I was all alone in the school.... no guards no students. It was EMPTY. I started to get a bit worried cos I was wondering if the gate was locked. hah, YES IT FOOKIN WAS. So I started to panic and decided to find for another exit that would be open. Stupid me right??? WHY WOULD THEY LEAVE ANY OTHER GATE OPEN -.- So I walked around and then I decided to climb over the gate. There were 2 gates, 1 for people and 1 for vehicles. At first, I managed to squeeze my bag through the smaller gate (thinking that both gates would end up at the same path) and was gonna climb over the gate. When I was at the top, I realised I was too fucking tall to even get over it. Which meant I had to climb over the BIGGER GATE. Holy mother fishballs, I was so scared cos I've never climbed over a huge gate before and... CARS WERE DRIVING BY AND I WAS SCARED THEY WOULD CALL THE POLICE. Ok nvm, I overcame my fear and just climbed over the gate.. Then I realised... That both gates dont end up at the same exit. oh my god, I wanted to fcking kill myself I swear. I had to climb over, get my bag and climb the bigger gate while carrying my bag.......... Wah sb suay.

I thought that would be the end of the suay-ness.. BUT NO IT JUST KEEPS ON COMING DOESN'T IT.

When mark and I were going back to tamp... we took the shuttle bus to tamp inter even though I wanted to cab from ikea but the queue was so long and I didn't wanna wait. So being such idiots, when a shuttle bus came, we boarded without knowing which station it goes to. WE ENDED AT FUCKING SENGKANG AND DIDN'T EVEN KNOW AFTER WE ALIGHTED THE BUS AND LOOKED AROUND. I was even thinking "hey, I think that's Tamp 1!!!" then I saw "Seng Kang" on the mrt sign............ Good lord, I wanted to bite someone.

so as i was saying, i went to ikea to meet mark and have dinner with him (but he didn't eat -.-) 

best fran <3

yay finally clearing my tops! (only threw like max 8 of them)

heh my new rack is almost full....... already.................... 

coloured tops!

then yesterday I brought my pumpkin out for a run before we headed to ntuc to get some groceries

and my LATEST ADDICTION <33333333333 

that's all for now guys!!! See ya :-) I promise to update very soon!