jiggle juggle

-foods and places i've been enjoying- 

hello there, a few updates...

1. i didn't quit twelve,

2. i have a new job

3. actually i have 2 new jobs

4. yes i am currently working 3 jobs.

5. workouts have been going downhill

andddddddd i still cant fathom the fact that i'm turning 18 next friday. I don't feel particularly special so yup.

And i'm exhausted, frankly speaking. I'm running around bc i'm currently juggling 2 jobs and my third one hasn't quite started yet and wow......... i am BEYOND EXHAUSTED hahahahahahaha

but yea

when i wanted to blog i had a million things to say now i have nothing to say

alright bye

good vibes

yum breakfast

hello hello!
i woke up extra early today at 8:30 to the sound and smell of rain which put me in a good mood.
sliced my wholemeal loaf and had pbj and bananas on bread for breakfast :-)
wanted to hit the gym, but the rain convinced me that staying at home (more particularly, in bed) is a much better choice this thursday morning.
however, my body has this urge to run again and i'm really starting to love running A LOT.
my runs keep getting faster and every time i run, i'll constantly tell myself that every step is a improvement to my body. hehe, 3 days ago my average pace was 6 mins/km but yesterday it was 5mins 55 sec/km!!!!! i know to you guys it's no biggie cos it's only 5 seconds... but constant improvement will lead to a big difference.
oh and yesterday i had my cheat meal after my run which didn't quite settle in my tummy so everything came out this morning (which made me feel even better!!)
yay, almost to my first week's mark of clean eating and exercising :-)
can't wait till it's my first month, year, decade etc!!! So many milestones to achieve, i'm so pumped up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

good thursday everyone!!
-annabelle x tammie

morning walk

woke up at 9:30 this morning and didn't have any plans for today so that meant that i can take my day slow today :-)
had a hearty breakfast (pbj sandwich with a banana)
and decided to take a walk to a bakery at katong called bakers' well!
i'm not quite sure if the main point of this post is about bakers' well or my morning walk.. but i just wanted to note down how i feel i guess..
i never actually had a morning walk.. because i'm too busy or i always had plans whenever i had an off day. (or i woke up too late oops)
the morning sun was nice and gentle. i loved every step i took and it was refreshing. i saw katong in a new light today, i took in the colours and vibrancy of the shophouses.. the smell of coffee as i walk pass the coffee shops (cafes) and how quiet it was in the morning (other than the noise from cars).
reached bakers well and fell in LOVE with all their breads. i'm a sucker for bread and carbs so i could have bought the entire shop if i had the money..
i was greeted by a very charming and suave young man (i think he's the baker!) and he had a friendly and warm smile. It was nice to see that especially when you're already having a great day.. i bought 6 muffins (for my family) and the great thing about it is.. they're baked with NO butter and LESS sugar!!!!! i wanted to buy all their flavours really. it was 6 for $10.90 (i think) so WHY NOT. cheap price for GOOD food.
i also bought a loaf of wholemeal walnut raisin bread and banana bread.
i went to baker's well with an intention of just buying a loaf of banana bread..... but i guess not heh.
everything came up to $20.90!!! absolutely cheap price for amazing quality (& quantity!)

i'll definitely visit them again (in 3 days i reckon)  to buy more bread! 

say no to supermarket breads everyone!!!!!! 

say yes to homemade goodness :-) 

reasons

believe me when i say i have my reasons to take hiatus from everything.
first thing u need to know about me is that i dont like attention. i do like it for a short period of time but then i feel that i tend to stray away from who i truly am to maintain the current standards of me that they're seeing. i feel that i can't do this or do that because im scared that i'll become fat or lose my image in front of everyone. i start restricting myself, and i start seeing myself in perspective of how other's view me.
and eventually i get tired.
so tired of maybe craving attention and/or wanting more attention.. i guess that's the thing, i start changing myself to become the person i'm not.... i start binge eating cos i'm consuming way too little everyday and i start eating at night because i get so so so hungry from not eating properly in the day. i stop exercising because im scared of getting bulky and my legs build muscles rly rly fast. im scared ill lose the only feature of myself that i like and end up having big legs. i crave the body that i used to have because everyone liked it so much more, which made me want it even more.
and i didn't realise how much i'm emotionally hurting myself.
today i used my big bulky quads and hamstrings to give myself a good 5km run. and i did it below 30 minutes. i deleted twitter and insta and fb so i know that the only reason why i ran so fast or well is because im getting stronger, and not to be a people please-r or impress anyone.
and yes, i may be getting bigger, but who the fuck cares when my body is enjoying it?

its good to know that 3 days away from social media has given me so much time for self discovery...
can't imagine how great i'll start to feel in a few weeks' time..
till then, im slowly building myself up...
happy is a state of mind, and i want to make it permanent. having a good body is just one way to make me happy. it's part of my goal, NOT my goal. There are so many more factors that come together to form a happy state of mind, and slowly but surely, i will get there one day.

taking it a day at a time
-annabelle tammie

tick tock

i have 20 mins to type this post out
basically im feeling like shit
i put on 4kg n i just looked through all my pictures and almost cried bc i put on so much weight
i have to constantly remind myself that it didnt take me 2 days to look like this shit so it wont take me 2 days to get my old body back

i'll get there
i know i will.
till then, goodbye
i've deleted my instagram, facebook and twitter app.
also deleted all my pictures of myself in my camera roll
and soon i'll MIA from my phone n will only be replying a handful of people such as natty and.. yea basically just her probably haha

x
-annabelle tammie

honey i need u

struggling to stop my eyelids from slowly drooping downas i type this post out. I have a strong feeling that i'll zonk out while editing my slides later.
on a side note, i found a new job (awesome possum) and i'm quite excited. but that means i'll have to bid twelve and the amazing team at ccp goodbye.
Ahhh, attachment is difficult especially when i get attached to people so easily. but thankfully i adapt easily as well and thats how i get rid of my attachment aha.
anyway, been hitting the gym v frequently n my body is................ aching.....
i feel old. but gotta do whatever it takes to whippppppp this body into good shape

rly liking this pic

groceries

we accept the love we think we deserve

typing this post while waiting for my food to get digested..... argh so annoyed even tho i ate before 8 and i've been waiting for my food to get digested since. now i can't hit the gym or everything will just come out >:(

anyhoooooo, ystd i was talking to kh and i realised that i hate the statement "we accept the love we think we deserve" If we really accept the love we think we deserve, and the love that we are receiving is destructive to our well being... is that what we really deserve then? Is our self worth that low? I would like to think that if you're in a relationship that you're not happy in, you deserve more. If you feel that you're being neglected or suffocated then you deserve more. You're not receiving the love that you TRULY deserve but you're taking what you can get. Snap out of it. 

Eventually when one is overwhelmed with emotions and has gotten used to the love that s/he is receiving, we tend to think that that's the love we deserve. because we're so used to it. That's why we don't realise that maybe we're receiving lesser than what we deserve. 

Why subject yourself to this "love" you think you're receiving when it's nothing more than lust or emotional thoughts that was implanted in your head? why? when you can get so much better? 

Why make yourself think that you're that pathetic that you can only be loved that much? when someone out there can make you feel like the most important, beautiful, mesmerizing, fascinating being on this planet earth out of the 7 billion people? 

The question is; why would you think that this filth is what you deserve? 

nil

well im bad at blogging frequently... defo... hahahahaha
every time i open my browser and go to the blogger webpage.. i get lazy and close it
thankfully it only applies for this (and many other things like clearing my bags- i'll take a look at my bag and then just dump it aside and walk away hah) BUT it doesnt apply for gymming YAY

so i've been going to the gym quite frequently and i'm actually heading down later hehe.
I haven't been up to much other than eating notoriously large amounts (i wld like to think its a part of my PMS) and hitting the gym and working.
Oh and I've also been to a few job interviews and wondering which ones i should take up... bc twelve is asking me to retract my resignation as well. (oh decisions...)

here's some visuals to update u!!!!!!!

-the baristas at ccp sb has been increasingly nice to me (which makes me slightly sadder that im leaving 12 cos they used to be SO COLD n MEAN n RUDE to me >:( but now they're so nice) 

-one of the marcannadventures day

- became a red head

-i've been loving avocado.. juice? ice blended... drink? 

- natty gg to UK to study but SHE'S COMING BACK FOR CHRISTMASSSSSSS

-sleepy eyes sefli

- marcannadventures 

- ootd2dgym

MOMMY.

oh and 

im gg to bali in nov (it's on a monday to thurs which means i'm skipping sch......)

which also means that.... im gg to need a perfect attendance for the first half of the term (oh goodness gracious the cab money im gg to have to spend) 

yea basically that's it heh

my thoughts on turning 18

For the past few days, which might have turned into weeks, I've been working full shifts back to back and dragging my lifeless soul to work everyday.... doing the same thing that I've been doing the past 9 months which has pretty much become my second nature.
So after giving it much thought I resigned from my job at twelve. I wouldn't say being at twelve has taught me a lot of life-skills but i've definitely learnt a great deal while being there. Not anything to do with baking definitely (i'm still a bad baker lol), but it's more of juggling the numerous responsibilities at once. Some moments, I felt like I was Hannah Montana. From doing MIG admin things, to calling my project group mates to check on our progress and making personal home calls when my parents were overseas to check on the devils - all while working.... Maaaaan, it was a difficult and hell of a tiring 9 months and I DEFINITELY wouldn't say I've excelled each and every job and/or responsibility but I think I did a pretty decent job handling all aspects of my life at the same time

Moving on....

I think it's time for some changes.. It's time for me to find a hobby again, (after I dropped gymnastics for poly) find a new job that breaks my boundaries, find time to spend with my family, start learning about investing and study a lot a lot harder.
While at work today, I was thinking of how lucky I've been so far and I can only thank my parents and family for the continuous support and money that they've invested in me. Thinking back, I've been blessed with having so many opportunities of having to experience the different hobbies in life.. living in france and sleeping in a laundry basket all the time (i consider that a hobby.), private swimming lessons when i was only k2 (?), learning how to ride a bicycle when i was p1, joining handbells in pri school and then netball, then choir in secondary school and learning hiphop and street jazz, and also guitar and violin, then came gymnastics (the sport i loved, lived and breathed) and recently did yoga for a couple of months.
I've never actually considered myself lucky but now I do. I realised how dumb it is of me to constantly be so negative about everything around me when I'm blessed with a supportive family and countless and endless opportunities to venture the world out there.

As Im turning 18,
I'm learning to cherish the mere second of each day and making the most out of it. Ditching the anger (well not all of it, if not i wouldn't be anna) and negativity, and taking in the positive vibes.
And while everyone else hits the club when they turn 18, imma be hitting the gym and going..... wakeboarding. hehe, i've decided that I'm going to wakeboard as a new hobby (which will K I L L my bank account)
also, i'm pretty sure that my expenses are about to be very different from every other 18 year old. It'll mostly consist of 1. gym membership expenses. 2. wakeboarding classes expenses 3.shoes (gotta satisfy that girl in me hehe)

* they said that you know you have done a good job with your life when your life is what your 8 year old self pictured it to be. I'm happy to say that the life that I have is far better than the one I pictured myself to have. And the best part? It can only get better. :-)




Goodnight everyone, spread the good vibes.
-a